...and the rest of what's left

geeks are sissies

"life is not for sissies."

so said larry mcurtry, co-writer of the oscar-nominated screenplay of brokeback mountain, when asked about the message of his film.

i could not help but to think that the message was aimed at me. out of sheer sissiness, my so-called relationships usually only have a shelf-life of three months, tops. either i say good bye or the guy's pissed off with my vacillations about committing or not.

i am such a sissy, let me count the ways:

the first week is the best, cuddly-cutesy-lovey-dovey best.

then fourteen days into the relationship i feel my skin rashes coming out.

four weeks and my social skills go on a downhill.

by the sixth week, i am paranoid: "why me? why him? why now?" at the same time forgetting where i placed my car keys everyday on my way to work. what's worse is that i don't even own a car.

by the eighth week, it's over.

and if it ever reaches beyond the eighth week itch, i know how it works already: i would refuse to meet his friends or go home at 6 in the morning or be late for a date.

make me spell committment in a spelling bee and i will make that score.

but living it? that's the hardest part.

(hey! did i hear someone said "boo"?)



listening to: alexie's radio playing vivaldi

this is marc's version of the truth, sometime at 9:11 AM if you can't live with it, he can.