seeing myself in the eyes of others
coming from a developing country and living here in brussels has been a learning experience everyday. from class discussions where the professors would try (very hard) not to say the "d" word (developing) so as not to add insult to injury, to mundane things like being asked of whether we have computers in the philippines, or even amusing ones like people being surprised that i speak english, or that even i wear socks!
ok, the last one i just made up.
oh well. anyway, i was watching a documentary last night at the gay film fest about being gay in developing countries. aptly titled dangeorus living and produced by amnesty internatonal, the docu shows how living and growing up gay in developing countries can be a challenge. they showed gay people from turkey, namibia, honduras, jamaica, egypt, vietnam, and of course the philippines, in various stages of discrimination, violence and acceptance.
i went to watch the docu to see for myself how others view us gays from my country. i was not surprised that the film showed the philippines in a very good light compared to those from other countries. gays in my country have always been very much assimilated into the social fabric. discrimination may be occuring, but not in a massive scale leading to mass paranoia and bigotry. the film described how gays can be stereotyped in the philippines, as in anywhere in the world, and what groups and individuals are doing to stop it.
i believe that the real issue in the philippines is not about acceptance in society but in formalizing this acceptance into laws. gay marriage is non-existent and will never be as long as the church lobbies against it. it's good that gays are now accepted in the military and a new rape law acknowledges males as victims, too. for now, these are big achievements already.
i am happy to know that my country is making strides beyond tolerance and has gone into the direction of a more progressive acceptance. but i am sad at the same time for fellow gays in namibia and zimbabwe. hearing what their presidents had to say about us made my blood boil. at this time and age, bigots still abound.
my last blog about coming out was a real catharsis. and these people are no bigots, so heartfelt thanks are in order: to nancy for challenging me to find spirituality in coming out; to cecilia for the magic of love and being loved; and to sweet n sassy for acknowledging my courage.
spread the love!
this is marc's version of the truth, sometime at 10:27 AM
if you can't live with it, he can.
3 Comments
This is so so so informative! I wish I'd gone with you last night when you saw that documentary so then I could have heard and seen it myself. Then again, you have most likely captured the whole essence of the docu and brought forth here info that the rest of us couldn't have known.
Acknowledgement through our laws is one big step, indeed, but full acceptance may still be difficult to come by. That is, of course, with regards to the belief system that our Church has largely imposed on us. Don't you consider it such a paradox: "Thou shalt not discriminate", yet there is still a fight to be recognized for who you are?
I can already hear arguments arising from such a statement. But, I stand my ground.
Love ya!
dear cecilia, it is with arguments (pro or con) on this issue that i stop and see the world differently. you are right, this issue is a paradox as everything seems to be. i believe that issues are not wholly conflicts of right and wrong. the world is made up of moral shades of gray, a world full of ambivalence. this is the best reason to recognize diversity. recognition is the first step to acceptance. it's really up to the church (the people who belong to it) to wake up and push reforms within the Church (the structure). it is a difficult journey though, so Godspeed to us gays! (isn't it a paradox to use God and gay in the same sentence?!) heheheh!
dear nancy, i believe your point. in essence, gay marriage is not a religious issue but a civil one. but as with the religious culture in the philippines, and how the Church still has a stronghold on politics and everyday life, secular and lay issues in my country are really muddled. read my reply to cecilia above about this paradox of the church teaching love and kindness, yet turning a blind eye on its gay members.
i congratulate you on your 22 years of partnership and on being part the changes in your country and community! how we all wish a world of love and acceptance towards everyone...
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